I live in the fifth floor of my hostel, and I complain every day. Not only me, but all those I know make it a point to pass a comment on the number of stairs on the daily basis. Not that we have counted it, but we know that we climb almost a hundred every day. It has so become our habit that we find it odd, if we pass a day without complaining. So to avoid the overwhelming feeling of guilt, we do it at least towards the end of the day, surely before midnight. Our complaints not only cover the areas of the horrifying stairs, but also the heat that we experience on this highland. By highland I mean the top most floor of a building. What more, the city we stay in is more known for the deaths due to heat strokes and the bizarre climatic conditions than the historic importance or anything else.
On the contrary I am in love with this city, this place, my university and also my fifth floor. It’s a paradox maybe, to complain about it almost every day and yet to be in love with the same place all the more. There are reasons to this love that might seem very odd. There are reasons. Not one but many. This city has welcomed me in the time where I still wondered whether I would ever fit into the environment of my motherland. The people here didn’t possess garlands to let me in, but had open hearts to give space for one more person. All in all it was acceptance that I received, and little by little I am growing independent too. What more do I need to like a place? I don’t mean that the climate bothers me any less, it does, but all of it doesn’t seem to stand a chance with the happiness I receive every day.
It is indeed beautiful to come out of the shell of one self and try adaptation elsewhere. It’s completely a new experience that one will never understand unless you go out of your homeland. It presents you a new outlook towards life and lets you be on your own. For some the words should be: forces us to be on our own. My happiness does not mean that I prefer staying away from family, not at all, and given a chance I know that I’ll run back to my house to sleep on my mother’s lap, and to bug my father when he is doing something very important. The life away from them is demanding. It is not even a bit easy, but with these demands from life comes a greater capacity to try and fulfill those, with that comes tolerance to newness. To accept food with more than plenty of groundnuts in it, to dosa made in oil than ghee, and simply a lot more. It also presents us a platform to accept and refuse. The bumper question is the choice, when to accept and when to refuse. This is where things become murky, and challenging.
This choice is beyond just a simple yes or no, it will decide our friends, our surrounding, our state of mind and our life. Moving out of home is exactly like walking into a forest where you do not know what exists and what doesn’t. You do not have a map, a guideline or anything even to help you take the first steps. And the whole responsibility of being safe depends on you. Here we are exposed to the UV radiations of life, where you can choose whether to use a sunscreen or take the risk of a tan. This explanation is from the cosmetics point of view. But that is simply how it is.
The only armor that we possess is our guts to say a yes or no. When we are offered a newness, something we have not tasted yet, it is up to us to accept it or simply refuse with a smile. Sometimes the smiling refusal will cost you your friends, and will gift you loneliness. And it is at those times the character of courage steps in. That is when you should stand for yourself and believe in the possibility of everything-will-turn-out-better. You also learn to accept people from all around the country or all around the globe. The tolerance in you multiplies simply by many times. These lessons can be learnt only if we try and come out of the safe egg shell. This is the first place that let me learn my lessons so beautifully and it makes me love this place. Sometimes you also learn to value your family once to stay away from them that is in case you used to take them for granted before.
It makes us see the unseen. The things that we used to ignore thinking that it would be there forever. A cuddling family with a loving mother and a pampering father, and siblings to monkey around with.
Even selecting a dress for ourselves is one of those basic steps to decision making.
Coming to my love for this fifth floor, it is quite difficult to explain. Because I can’t end up saying that the fifth floor taught me how to climb stairs! It hasn’t taught me many things yet I like being here. At times we do not need bulleted reasons for finding ourselves attracted to something. We like it and that’s it. When I think of my room up here, the first thing that comes to my mind is the open windows. Freshness.
And the exquisite luck of being here is the sunset. It is THE event of a day. Standing at this highland, every day I witness this awe-inspiring scene, indeed a feast for the eyes. Never did I even once grow tired of it because the same event is presented in thousand different ways. The same sun rises and sets yet it is never the same. Some days the sky possesses a hue of deep yellow, sometimes it is carroty in colour, sometimes vermillion. On some special occasions it is a mixed shade of violet, blue, yellow and orange. When the sky is clear….oh! don’t ask me, we see a red ball sinking into the undefined horizons of sight. Witnessing this spectacle is indeed spectacular. When I come back from the class, so tired even to open my eyes, there I see this brilliant red ball painted into the backdrop of the carpet of the sky with colours undefinable, with beauty inexpressible. No words can ever describe it and no colour can ever paint it with perfection.
It is simply worth a sight. At that moment of euphoria I forget what kind of a day I had, regardless of how messy it was I enjoy the scene, with utmost curiosity. I watch it from the beginning till the end and a feeling of satisfaction sweeps over me, ‘This is happiness’ I whisper to myself savoring every bit of moment it presents me with. I look forward to this part of the day and wonder at times what would the sunset look like today.
To the later part of the day, there are more surprises coming.
When the sun hides herself beyond our sight, and the darkness slowly crawls in, the people switch on the lights. From the balcony of this highland, when I look towards the houses and towns scattered far away, on clear nights I see all of them simply as lights. As if a thousand fireflies are blinking at me from far away. There is also an electric tower that catches my sight, in between all those lights, and my wild imagination thinks of it as the Eiffel tower. As stupid as it sounds, I feel an idiot even to imagine it, but that’s how it looks from far. An Eiffel tower [actually the electric tower] embedded into a sea of lights. All of them blinking at me, I enjoy this sight every day. Some days, just before drifting into sleep I cast a glance at it, the lights filling hope into me for the next day. And I believe next day will be brighter, with the after image of these lights I close my eyes, sleep and dream more about lights.
For me this is the essence of being alive, the happiness I receive with a lot of effort put in to climb the stairs all the way up to the fifth floor, a treat for my struggle. What more do I need to fall in love with my life everyday all the more?
Comments
Post a Comment