Let It Go

Life comes with a lot of surprises, and a lot of people too. From the moment we are born till the moment we breathe our final breathe, they are there; people. Of all sorts, of all kinds, of all characters. Some come along to stay, the others just to say a ‘hi’ and yet another group of people come along just to remind us how foolish we were to let them in. Whatsoever every one of them come and enter our lives for a purpose. To fulfill the part they were assigned in each one of our lives. There are those special set of people who really leave their footsteps in our life, who literally teaches us how to live, how to go forward even when the whole world comes crashing down, who teaches us to welcome life the way it comes. They are one such breed that is nearing extinction. We no more find such people around, it is sort of a rare case to find one today.

But there is a greater set of people, who enters our life with utmost grace, who lives all the moments along with us and then one fine day gracefully backstabs us. It is certainly not a surprise to have had such an experience in life, because nowadays it comes in huge packages.

How spiteful my words have turned! *sigh*

When the environment transformed itself before me; from that of a simple school to that of a college, I never knew what all were there in my account. Everything had changed, the days of monkeying around with your best buddies were suddenly over, and there I was, in a place where I didn’t know how even to choose people to go around with. By the time I had realized and taken in the change, my anger had returned all the more… an emotion that I had buried somewhere in time, I had been hurt and left to ask myself ‘which kind of smiles to trust.’

I am scared of smiles now, because none comes from the heart. Everything is a façade and everyone wears a mask. When the mask wears off, we realize many things that we failed to. By that time much would have changed. You never know the intentions that a person comes with. Many a times I have wished for eyes that could see through people. Sadly I have never found either a magic lamp or a genie who could grant me that wish.

Then again when I think deeper, I face the fact that there is no such short cuts in life. Everything has to be learnt bit by bit, petit-à-petit. Every day comes with a lesson, every one carries a message. With every new experience good or bad, it delivers something to be remembered. How beautiful life is!

We learn things without our knowledge, and at the end of the day all we need are experiences… to tell us how to move on.

Having completed my one year in a college, amidst people of different kinds, I have learnt a lot. Learnt about the working of life more than studies. 365 days, 365 lessons.

There had been moments when I had felt like picking up a hockey stick and breaking things around, ripping people’s heads off and doing all those nasty things I can never do. Wow… I just pictured my words, the sheer violence in it. Those were indeed the times where I had seen how far my temper would go. Times when I had lost myself completely to anger, that my friends suggested me meditation. Those were the gifts from masked people.

Then there had been moments when I knew that the handful of ‘good’ people around me could not stay any longer in my life. They had to move on due to circumstances and so should I. Just that I couldn’t let them go. There were so less trustworthy people that you could not afford to let them go. They left nevertheless. Still I couldn’t free them from me. I was holding them back.

It came to a point where all good and bad incidents, and the people who brought them to me became heavy on me. It was disturbing me and I was having trouble holding onto them, and then I knew that it was time to let them go. To free them of my mind, the bad incidents that taught me lessons and the good ones that once made me smile. No longer could I force them to remain with me, it wouldn’t have been fair.

That very day, I took out a blank sheet of paper, wrote everything I wanted to let go, mentioned everyone I had to free and forgive, and added a thank you at the bottom. The next thing that I did would sound a little crazy but believe me I did it! I tore the paper gently, closed my eyes and let those emotions flow through me freely without any hindrance. I relived those moments of pain and joy. I was still tearing those bits into tinier pieces. Voilà I had the bits of memories in my fist that I closed tightly, not even letting a piece to escape. Then I chose an isolated spot, and made sure that it was windy. From the fifth floor of my place, I extended my hand out and opened my fist.

With a gush of wind the pieces of my memories were freed…they were floating in the air without anything holding them back. It flew away from me. The sight of those paper bits in air made my heart surge with an unexplainable emotion, one among those emotions were victory, that I had finally let go.

I felt like a bird, free of a heaviness, I could fly right then. I saw the memories flying in various directions and finally I couldn’t see them anymore. I had finally let go… I won.

Though the whole task was silly, it brought me peace. I understood the necessity of letting go. I knew the importance of forgiving, it made life lot easier and peaceful. May be then I had finally found a magic lamp.

All the genie said was; To let go. Simply to let go.